Copyright 2017 Nouk Sanchez
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The complete undoing of all suffering in our relationships, our bodies and our life depends exclusively on our willingness to forgive. No genuine healing of the body or of our relationships can occur without forgiveness. We may manifest temporary healing via magic medicine or by exchanging favors in special relationships yet these effect only superficial changes which cannot heal the fundamental cause of all suffering which is guilt as hidden self-hatred.
True healing in every area of our life can only come about as a result of complete forgiveness. But do we really want healing? This is the key question. For most there is a desire to heal only the symptoms of guilt, blame and judgment.
We want to be rid of the pain, conflict, illness and lack but if we’re to be radically honest many of us still resist healing the fundamental CAUSE through applying total, unequivocal forgiveness.
We are willing to move on from past hurts but we don’t realize that we can’t because we still believe they actually occurred. Furthermore, there is a valued belief that the (illusory) past is responsible for the present problem in whichever form it may appear (relationship conflict, health issues, emotional pain, financial lack, etc). However there is little or no desire to surrender the single cause of all this suffering which is our non-negotiable belief that we were indeed victimized.
Jesus tells us that our greatest fear is Love (God). This is the experience of Love without fear, something we don’t know yet through the false-self. This completely undivided Love is our greatest fear – as our Holy Self. If we were to know it, to claim it, the false-self along with its suffering would disappear.
He also says that the final block to overcome before we are willing to join with God is to forgive our brothers and sisters. This includes our parents, present partner, caretakers, family, former partners, former friends, colleagues, historical figures and presidents. We cannot afford to exclude even one person from our comprehensive forgiveness otherwise we still secretly condemn our self. Full forgiveness of others causes the ego’s veil of terror to disappear. The painful “effects” of guilt and fear fall away and our Christ Vision is restored. We are no longer afraid to see the face of Christ in others because we accept it as our own.
We cannot possibly open to Love as God (our Holy Self) unless we have totally forgiven others. If we hold any grievances then we will be terrified of God as Love. And that terror arises from projection.
There is only one Son of God, not many. We are the one Holy Self. We share this Identity equally. And we cannot embody this Identity while we judge or reject any one else. To the degree we hold resentments or still belief we were unfairly treated is the degree we will attract suffering (separation) either through illness, aging, weight issues, relationship conflict, financial lack, etc.
Are we grateful to be able to forgive?
Until there is a sense of gratitude for having had the experience then forgiveness is not complete. When we genuinely accept the Atonement Holy Spirit’s right-minded perception reveals the benefit of the experience. This always includes appreciation for the person/issue because without it, as painful as it was, we would never have had the chance to see it and forgive (heal) our self for projecting this unconscious self-attack.
When we are willing to forgive there must be a sincere desire for the miracle rather than the grievance. For me, the following was and still is an amazingly effective mantra: “More than anything I want to see the miracle that lay behind this illusory appearance.” Remember too, that when we long to see the miracle instead of a grievance we immediately align with and as God’s Will. And there is literally nothing that God’s Will cannot heal when we join with Him in trust.
Why do we Find it so Difficult to Forgive?
If we choose to hold a grievance then we cannot receive the miracle. The two are mutually exclusive. Which do we really want, the grievance or the miracle? We cannot have both.
If your memory of a person still sparks an emotional charge then you have not yet forgiven. They may have even passed on yet your memory of the grievance has not. A disturbing memory seems as if it’s in the past but there is no memory in the past because the past does not exist. Therefore, the memory of a grievance can only exist right now in this present moment. The grievance itself becomes your present experience and imprisons you.
There is no hierarchy of grievances. All grievances both large and small equally block us from Love, from healing. Resentment always obstructs the precious “now” moment where all healing lay. Grievances are carried from one moment to the next blocking us from the abundant and holographic healing of the Holy Instant. They serve to numb us to present miracles and ensure we carry the grievance into the future so as it perpetuates the ego’s hidden wish to be unfairly treated.
A primary obstacle we have to quantum forgiveness and probably the most prevalent is the total misperception that when we forgive someone we’re forgiving the truth of what really happened. We are pardoning them for what we believe actually occurred. In addition we usually carry proof or evidence of the particular violation. The ego asks how can physical evidence (relationship conflict, infidelity, betrayal, abuse, financial loss, ill health, etc.) of a transgression be overlooked while clearly there is evidence to the contrary.
So the first hurdle to overcome is our mistaken belief that:
- We were indeed harmed; the incident did happen, and
- That someone else was responsible, not us
“The major difficulty that you find in genuine forgiveness on your part is that you still believe you must forgive the truth, and not illusions. You conceive of pardon as a vain attempt to look past what is there; to overlook the truth, in an unfounded effort to deceive yourself by making an illusion true. This twisted viewpoint but reflects the hold that the idea of sin retains as yet upon your mind, as you regard yourself.” …“Because you think your sins are real, you look on pardon as deception.” W-134.3,4:1
“If you will recognize that all the attack you perceive is in your own mind and nowhere else, you will at last have placed its source, and where it begins it must end. For in this same place also lies salvation.” T-12.III.10:1-2
“The world you perceive is a world of separation. Perhaps you are willing to accept even death to deny your Father. Yet He would not have it so, and so it is not so.” T-12.III.9:1-3
This may be difficult to swallow but another reason we resist True forgiveness so intensely is because beneath all our outward striving for Love, abundance, happiness and health lay the hidden and un-forgiven desire for self-attack. This disguised wish to be unfairly treated is a highly revered and defended value of the false-self. To the ego there is a secret payoff to being a victim. The ego survives on its deceitful concept of pseudo innocence. While it is victimized it can offset blame onto others. Its pseudo innocence is always bought at the cost of another’s guilt.
Given two choices, either physical death or True forgiveness, the ego always chooses death while concealing the real cause of death which is always un-forgiveness. And this is why we see so much suffering and death. There is no other cause of adversity.
In my many years of practicing and teaching forgiveness I am still sometimes shocked by people’s staunch resistance to applying it unconditionally. There is such strong resistance to taking 100% responsibility for having unknowingly chosen to self-attack. Yet “accountability” is the second principle in the Seven Key Principles of Holy Relationship (click here for the Key Principles). If we refuse to be accountable (without self-blame) for having made a choice for self-attack then we must still be projecting our un-forgiven guilt onto someone else – and therefore, keeping it for our self.
We say we want Holy Relationships but it is literally impossible to initiate and engage in Holy Relationships unless we’re willingly committed to forgiveness with gratitude. After all, we are healing our very own unconscious attraction to self-attack. And this deserves abundant gratitude.
Don’t Take it Personally
Did you know that to “take offense” which is to believe you’re a victim, is just as false as to “give offense”, to attack? The idea of victim and perpetrator are both equally false.
When we take things personally it’s always the separate self that takes offense. The Holy Self cannot take offense because it knows it cannot be threatened. When we take things personally we have zero gratitude and we are in defense mode, actively blocking the miracle. It is far better to train our self to note when we’re triggered; to let that be our immediate sign that we are in resistance or defense. Defense mode is always the ego. As we catch our self being triggered we can then choose to exchange the grievance for the miracle via forgiveness.
A universal law which the ego refuses to allow into awareness is that all “giving is receiving” always. When we project guilt through blame and judgment we end up amassing it for our self as ongoing and unrecognized self-attack.
This takes numerous forms most of which appear to be totally unrelated to our grievance. For instance common problems that many face include weight issues. Yet given a choice between dieting and applying True forgiveness to everyone including themselves, most choose a temporary remedy where the consequences of unresolved grievances (weight) are remedied while the underlying cause (grievances) is left unhealed to return again.
The ego cannot survive without projecting its guilt. It must call in attack via conflict, betrayal, abandonment, pain, illness, financial loss, etc. In Truth it is impossible to be attacked unless we “wished” for it. This is why Jesus says that attack in any form is an illusion.
All attack is self-attack because we betrayed our self in the first place by unknowingly using others to prove they are guilty while justifying our own pseudo innocence. Innocence is a total sham if it depends on another’s guilt. True and incorruptible Innocence knows everyone as sinless and guiltless. It is the bedrock of our most Holy Self, the one Self we share equally with everyone.
Quantum forgiveness undoes the initial and often un-remembered self-betrayal necessary to invite and manifest seeming attack from others, the body and the world. It is impossible to forgive another. We must accept that no matter the seeming form of attack it always arises from our own unrecognized self-attack. We forgive our self only. There is literally no one else to forgive.
“It is impossible to forgive another, for it is only your sins you see in him. You want to see them there, and not in you. That is why forgiveness of another is an illusion. Yet it is the only happy dream in all the world; the only one that does not lead to death. Only in someone else can you forgive yourself, for you have called him guilty of your sins, and in him must your innocence now be found.” S-2.I.4:2-6
“Anger is [never] justified. Attack has [no] foundation.” T-30.VI.1:1-2
“Only the self-accused condemn. As you prepare to make a choice that will result in different outcomes, there is first one thing that must be overlearned. It must become a habit of response so typical of everything you do that it becomes your first response to all temptation, and to every situation that occurs. Learn this, and learn it well, for it is here delay of happiness is shortened by a span of time you cannot realize. You never hate your brother for his sins, but only for your own. Whatever form his sins appear to take, it but obscures the fact that you believe them to be yours, and therefore meriting a “just” attack. T-31.III.1.
In the cases where children appear to suffer at the hands of perpetrators, illness or injury, we must remember that the ego thought system over-arches the concept of children and adults. All children come into each lifetime with the ego’s filter of fear and their parents and peers unknowingly reinforce their false sense of self. Unbeknown to most the child’s singular purpose for incarnation is to wake up from the dream of separation. Unfortunately, the fastest motivator to awaken from the dream is acute suffering. While awakening need not be painful the ego’s armor-plated obsession with drama, constant seeking and control (separation) propels it to self-destruction.
I have never known anyone to willingly choose to renounce the false-self concept completely who had not already exhausted the ego’s propensity for suffering. If in this lifetime, the ego’s life was one of great ease then there would usually be no desire to awaken. Awakening comes from having hit the ego’s wall over and over again. Only then will we sincerely do whatever it takes to look only to God and not to the body, special relationships and the world for our freedom.
We are viewing a very long sequence of lifetimes where every child has made a determined “choice” for just how they wished to be treated in this lifetime. There are never any victims. All choices were usually made prior to an individual’s incarnation but are now open to another choice to heal in any genuine Holy Instant of forgiveness.
We can help heal these children simply by accepting the Holy Spirit’s correction on their behalf. This is the Atonement (click here for the forgiveness process). If we believe there are “victims” and are triggered then we are the one most in need of healing because we believe (and therefore reinforce) an opposite to God’s Love. Not only that, but in our own fear, we unwittingly amplify fear in the one we desire to help.
In my own experience of childhood abuse I can say that this has definitely accelerated my hunger for nothing but God’s Love.
The basis for every Holy Relationship is this: “Do I want to see him or her as completely sinless?” If we still desire another to feel guilty then we are condemning our self to death. We want to cling to sin, guilt and death for our self. That is the bottom line. There is only one us here. If we are triggered then it’s ours to heal. And this is why if we really want to awaken from suffering and death then we must be willing to forgive our self only, for having unknowingly used this person (or incident, issue, etc) to attack our self.
Ask yourself, “Do I want to know my Self as eternally innocent, as invulnerable to attack of any kind?” “Do I want to know I am always Loved, safe and secure and that all my needs are always met?” “Do I want to know that God’s Will for me is consistent and uninterruptible Love, happiness, joy, abundance and good health?”
If so then I must forgive myself for having believed otherwise. I forgive myself for having unknowingly used others, the past, my childhood, the body and the world to try to prove that I am separate from others, God and my most beloved, innocent and Holy Self. Forgiveness is the unparalleled practice by which I come to recognize and accept my own incorruptible Innocence.
“God is the Love in which I forgive. …forgiveness is the means by which I will recognize my innocence. It is the reflection of God’s Love on earth. It will bring me near enough to Heaven that the Love of God can reach down to me and raise me up to Him.”… “As I begin to see, I recognize His reflection on earth. I forgive all things because I feel the stirring of His strength in me. And I begin to remember the Love I chose to forget, but which has not forgotten me.” W-60. 1:1,4-6;2:4-6
“The strength of pardon is its honesty, which is so uncorrupted that it sees illusions as illusions, not as truth. It is because of this that it becomes the undeceiver in the face of lies; the great restorer of the simple truth. By its ability to overlook what is not there, it opens up the way to truth, which has been blocked by dreams of guilt. Now are you free to follow in the way your true forgiveness opens up to you. For if one brother has received this gift of you, the door is open to yourself. “W-134.8
“There is a very simple way to find the door to true forgiveness, and perceive it open wide in welcome. When you feel that you are tempted to accuse someone of sin in any form, do not allow your mind to dwell on what you think he did, for that is self-deception. Ask instead, “Would I accuse myself of doing this?” W-134.9.
NOTE: From The End of Death, Volume Three, www.EndOfDeath.com For the Forgiveness/Atonement process, go to: https://takemetotruth.org/nouks-blog/the-seven-essential-principles-in-quantum-forgiveness/