The idea of ego integration or inner soul-merge offers me a practical means to reduce both the threat of fear and my destructive defenses against it. It peacefully silences the inner war raging between ego and Spirit. And it diffuses the emotional conflict and ensuing guilt which must accompany this phase of polarizing the ego and Spirit.
Once we have made the ego an enemy we unknowingly invite an experience which involves the same cycle; fear, conflict and defense. Yet as we courageously undo the ego it pays to consistently recall that no matter how challenged we feel, there is just one problem – fear. And therefore, just one solution – Love.
I don’t have a foolproof explanation for this integration primarily because I’m fairly new to the idea at the time of writing this. But what I can say is this; it works. Let me offer some background first.
I was first introduced to this idea through a series of profound experiences which I call the “Circle of Peace” back in 2015 but I wasn’t ready for its implications. Then recently Leni Dubel who is my friend Sally Dubel’s daughter, experienced a sudden shift, an awakening. My understanding is that this precipitated the collapse of separation between the ego and Holy Self for her. She immediately recognized the need to Love the ego rather than to reject it.
Being acutely psychic and highly attuned to her Spirit Guides, she agreed with her Guides, to devote herself to a new and divine purpose; what she terms Ego Integration. Together with her Guides she acts as a kind of spiritual midwife; a clear channel for communication between the suppressed and denied ego and Spirit.
Leni now offers her services to help people integrate the ego. Personally, I don’t like the term ego-integration. However I do see this process as a type of soul-merge where the darkness in our mind is gently recognized without fear. It is then gratefully and tenderly embraced and carried into the Light of Love with the help of Leni’s Spirit Guides.
Leni recommends naming the ego and giving it an identity so it can be heard and conversed with as we would an inner child. While for many this may be a helpful preliminary step to integration, it did not appeal to me. I confess I was extremely skeptical at first. There seemed a great risk in making the unreal real by giving it a voice and identity.
I must admit that my session with Leni was very helpful and insightful and helped to collapse an arduously long stretch of self-judgment and false humility. There is no greater gift than to know there is a Mind full of Love that is large enough to hold and heal even the most challenging forms of fear if I allow it. And I AM that Mind.
As I mentioned before, initially I experienced a pretty intense aversion to this so called integration. My first logical questions about this type of integration were, “How can I integrate the unreal? How can I integrate two mutually exclusive thought systems? How can I integrate fear with Love? How can I possibly even think of integrating the ego with the Holy Self?” I drove myself nuts with these questions!
Then I had to remember to let go of my attachment to my ideas about the form of this type of healing and ask Spirit to reveal the content, the only part which has value. The outcome of all these questions for me was yet another phase of, “I don’t know.” And with this sincere and humble acknowledgment came a huge sense of relief. Ah, open-mindedness always wins.
Quit Demonizing the Ego
And then the answers came. Fear is simply the absence of Love in our awareness just as darkness is the absence of light. The singular cause of all fear is guilt. We become fearless only when we desire to know we are guiltless. Fear is the opposite of Love but what is all-encompassing can have no opposite. In absolute terms fear does not exist because God did not create it (just like sickness, pain, aging and death, etc). Only what God created can be shared or expressed. Everything else cannot although it sure can seem very real here in the dream.
The purpose of this inner merge between the real and the unreal is to restore our sense of unchanging, incorruptible innocence. As we embrace our guiltlessness we must drop the lens of fear and be restored to wholeness which brings with it a profound and uplifting sense of invulnerability and defenselessness.
This is where our all-inclusive safety and security lay; in our guiltless, fearless and defenseless state as the “I AM.” Only here in this state will I know and therefore demonstrate my overarching immunity to every form of suffering.
If all our fears along with their countless manifestations stem from just one which is the fear of Love (God as our one Holy Self), and if God is only Love…then what exactly is it that we constantly fear and defend our self from?
We defend against our True Identity as Love itself.
The ego is not an identity but a thought system which we have personalized claiming a special separate identity that we call “me”. Strictly speaking this seeming identity is made up of various beliefs, values and concepts. This is not important. However what is important is the intent behind it. What purpose does it serve? Does it seek to end separation (guilt and fear) or prolong it?
We can end the reign of fear (ego concept) by bringing it into the all-encompassing Light of God’s Love. This is the one Holy Self (Christ) that we share. While there appear to be many different ego identities there is only one True shared Identity as the Christ.
Through the ego integration or inner soul-merge, the darkness is firstly embraced rather than excluded and then transmuted into the Light. Another way to say this is that it is subsumed by the Light of Love as the Christ Self. In the absence of war against the ego, it is freed from damnation and therefore, from acting out.
As we relinquish our demonizing of it then it must eventually abandon its savage backlash cycles. We begin by releasing our vice-like grip on making the ego wrong. We speak to our darkness and assure it that there is nothing to fear. There is nothing to resist. There is nothing to defend our self from because Love is all there is in reality.
Subsumed by the Light
If we open to our Self as the all-encompassing Love that we are we can welcome those dark parts of our self into this Light. Remember the Light that we are is all-encompassing and has no opposite. It has no enemies including every one of those dark aspects that show up in numerous and varied forms. All are gifts when we refuse to judge them and look for what they stand for instead. This is where our Christ Vision eclipses what our body’s five senses tell us.
We can allow these fears or temptations into our Light to be integrated as Light. To allow the ego does not mean we approve of it or consent to its destructive temptations or impulses. We remain mindful and discerning rather than critical and judgmental. Recall that all fear is only the ego’s call for Love. So how do we answer its call for Love? Like a mischievous child acting out of fear, we reassure him that he is safe first. We may be firm but Loving because the frightened child (ego) needs positive and strong boundaries to feel safe and let go.
And this is how we learn to speak to our own fears. Screaming at them, scolding them, ignoring them, defending against them or running away from them only intensifies their need to be heard, felt and manifested.
Remember the Holy Spirit reinterprets everything the ego made to attack us. Behind every conceivable adversity awaits a miracle to be invoked. There is no order of difficulty in miracles. But we must desire to see the gift beneath each temptation of darkness; we can’t do this while we interpret a threat as real. Fear is the absence of Love in our awareness. Love involves gratitude for every instance of temptation because without these forgiveness opportunities we would never awaken from fear.
God is in my mind therefore everything God sees in my mind is Holy and healed. My mind holds only what I think, feel and see with God. Now I can afford to look upon seeming suffering with God because that is how it is healed. It cannot be healed by resisting, defending or fighting it. Now I can welcome everything I was previously afraid to feel and to look upon. Now I can disarm my defenses and welcome the fearless state; my Holy Self as all-encompassing Love.
As we welcome the Holy Self or Higher Mind a vast spaciousness opens up as we go from our head into our heart and from our past into the Holy Instant. A state of grace is embraced. And it’s this divine spaciousness that effortlessly and Lovingly encompasses the split-mind. It resists nothing because it knows that everything even the ego, has one singular purpose; and that is to be transformed into Light.
When the darkness of ego is brought to the Light it becomes subsumed by that Light and nothing but Light remains. Ultimately the idea of fear (ego) will merely disappear into the Light of God and we will return to our fearless state of Love without opposite.
NOTE: If you’d like to book a phone or Skype session with Leni her email is: firstname.lastname@example.org
Visit Sally and Leni’s website here: www.wholeworldpeaceandtarot.com