When we are in special relationships we erroneously believe we are in relationship with other bodies. We have no idea that there are no bodies and that what we’re really relating to is our own false “interpretation” of the other person. Further, the only possible ways we can see the other person are though our desire to see them either as they are (innocent, as we are) in truth, or as we want them to be (guilty). This is non-negotiable.
The body was projected as a fence – a defense – to separate each of us and to block true communication between us. Yet God’s Love is all of what we are. True communication consists of the ever extending Love that we are. Because of this we dwell in a state of perpetual, uninterrupted innocence – Holiness. This state of incorruptible innocence is eternal and changeless whether we are aware of it or not. Our innocence is the Will of God. It cannot change.
In this ego dream, everything we appear to experience including the body and its state arises from just one place – our desire for it. Projection makes perception because we always perceive exactly what we believe and therefore, value; either good or bad. Desire precedes all experience.
We cannot possibly experience anything here without a desire for it. And desire is made through our beliefs including our fears. Recall that what we fear and defend our self from is its attraction. Although most of these desires remain unconscious as the ego’s wish to be unfairly treated, until we are willing to have them healed.
In order to maintain separation we must keep the illusion of separate bodies and minds alive. The body’s five physical senses were made to see and sense only separation. They were fabricated to block out our shared and changeless innocence.
Both Love and innocence cannot change because they cannot be separate. Love and innocence are one. The moment we judge or blame our self or another, we’re temporarily unconscious, unaware of the innocence we share with everyone as the Holy Self. The costs of this amnesia are guilt, fear and self-attack as pain, illness or relationship conflict, etc.
Consequently, while we continue to rely on the body’s senses to inform us of reality we will see and value sin, guilt and fear over Love and innocence. If we perceive anything that contradicts innocence in another, our self, the body, the past or the world, we are hallucinating. And this is why we have forgiveness and the Atonement; so we can ask Holy Spirit to correct our warped perception.
Special relationships are the favorite breeding ground for this hallucination where love and innocence can suddenly shift to their opposites, hate and guilt. While we value what the body seems to offer us (ours or another’s) we will use it to witness to suffering, conflict and separation, as the absence of Love and innocence. Each person in special relationship reenacts his own seeming proof of guilt and unworthiness every time he believes his anger is justified.
“It is impossible to forgive another, for it is only your sins you see in him. You want to see them there, and not in you. That is why forgiveness of another is an illusion. Yet it is the only happy dream in all the world; the only one that does not lead to death. Only in someone else can you forgive yourself, for you have called him guilty of your sins, and in him must your innocence now be found.” S-2.I.4:2-6
We all see, feel and experience exactly what we desire. But have we gone within to discover what it is that we really desire? Why have it hidden? Why not bring it up to the light of awareness so we can look upon it with the Holy Spirit, and ask Him to re-purpose it?
Take the Test
Take the following test to find out whether you want Love or specialness.
What do I truly desire? What do I long for? Do I want to be Loved? Do I want to feel Loved? Because it is impossible to feel Loved and receive Love without responding with a “yes” to the following question:
Do I want above all else, to see others as innocent, as sinless, regardless of appearances to the contrary?
If your answer is “no” to this preceding question, then changeless Love is not what you want. Instead you seek special love, which is conflict and separation in disguise.
Do you want to know Love? Or do you want to be special? These two are diametrically opposed and can never be merged because they seek opposing goals. When innocence is all you want to perceive, then Love is all you will experience.
“Dreams show you that you have the power to make a world as you would have it be, and that because you want it you see it. And while you see it you do not doubt that it is real. Yet here is a world, clearly within your mind, that seems to be outside. You do not respond to it as though you made it, nor do you realize that the emotions the dream produces must come from you. It is the figures in the dream and what they do that seem to make the dream. You do not realize that you are making them act out for you, for if you did the guilt would not be theirs, and the illusion of satisfaction would be gone.”… “In your waking dreams, the special relationship has a special place. It is the means by which you try to make your sleeping dreams come true. From this, you do not waken. The special relationship is your determination to keep your hold on unreality, and to prevent yourself from waking. And while you see more value in sleeping than in waking, you will not let go of it.” T-18.II.5:1-6,16-20
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